


Sunshine

by SamanthaStarbreaker



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 21:45:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19118314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamanthaStarbreaker/pseuds/SamanthaStarbreaker
Summary: Inspired by this tweet:"The Joker should have been a woman. And she finally went insane because too many random dudes told her to smile, so now she perpetually smiles while terrorizing Gotham."Thanks, @everywhereist!





	Sunshine

Arkham Asylum

Psychiatric Evaluation  
Interviewer: S. Weiss  
Subject: H. Quinn  
Transcribed by J. Morales

INTERVIEWER: Good morning, Harold.  
SUBJECT: Fuck off.  
I: Subject reacts to friendly overtures with hostility.  
S: Wow. While you're fucking off, try to remember that my name is Harley and I'm a better psychiatrist than you.  
I: Not everything has to be a competition, Mr. Quinn.  
S: Who said anything about competition? I'm just remarking on your incompetence and transphobia for the record.  
I: So you consider yourself transgender. What's interesting to me about that is that you worked here for 5 years before helping the Joker escape, and you never mentioned that. Why wait until after a massive crime spree, Mr. Quinn?  
S: Yes. With responses like this, I was truly missing out by not informing you. Also, it's Doctor. Doctor Quinn. Or if you're interested in dismissing my achievements, Miss Quinn would suffice.  
I: My apologies, Doctor. I wouldn't want to minimize all those achievements of yours.  
S: I want a different shrink. This is clearly an ethical conflict, considering we know each other. Not to mention you're a dick.  
I: I'm the shrink you've got, Doctor Quinn. You'll just have to deal with me.  
S: I think I'd rather just wait in my cell until Jay rescues me.  
I: She's actually what I wanted to talk with you about. How did she get you to snap?  
S: 'Member what I told you about fucking off?

Subject ceased responding to inquiries. Dr. Weiss terminated the session.

 

* * *

 

 

I wasn't allowed a rubber ball to bounce off the walls. Pity. It would have been funny, driving the guards insane. That asshole Steve probably figured I'd eventually get bored enough to talk to him. There actually isn't enough boredom in the world for that, but I give him an A for effort. Besides, Jay would be here to bust me out fairly soon. How did she get me to snap? Steve asked. Snap. Like I was crazy. As far as I knew, I still hadn't snapped. Jay just showed me a better way of handling the bullshit Gotham calls a life. I supposed I couldn't blame him for thinking I'm crazy. I thought Jay was crazy at first, too. Hell, she actually is a little crazy. Doesn't mean she's wrong. Sitting there in a cell in a men's prison, I thought about when things started to change between Jay and me.

I think it was actually the same room Steve and I had been in. That was our usual. This would have been Jay's fourth time in Arkham, and she always joked about that. I'd just walked into the room, and there she was, making our prison jumpsuits look better than any haute couture I'd seen. "Doctor Q," she said, "can you stamp my punch card? Two more incarcerations and I get a free sandwich." She grinned, and there was a glint in her eyes that I always found intriguing. The thing about Jay is that everything she says, she can back up. Naturally, when I played along, she actually managed to produce a weathered punch card showing exactly what she'd described. I still don't know where she gets this stuff, but she's got a knack for it. True to my word, I grabbed the office hole punch and put another hole in it. You'll actually get fairly far with the Joker if you just take her word for it. Men never do. When I returned her punch card, she gave me an approving sort of look. I didn't say anything, but after a moment, Jay asked quietly, "You want to know how I got these scars?"

It was obvious which scars she meant. Her face was cut up to make it look like she was giving everyone a massive grin. The question was actually fairly common. She'd asked everyone else, and given them a different story each time. This was the first time she'd asked me, though. "Sure," I said. "How'd it happen?"  
"It's a long story, Dr. Q, but I think out of all the shrinks in this place, you might actually get it."  
Leaning forward in my chair, I said, "Try me."  
"Gotham City has a reputation. Carefully manicured and maintained. If you ask a dozen people on the street what they think of living here, they'll give you the same answers. First, the complaints. Rent's too high. Too much crime. Train's always late. Winters are harsh. The usual, you know?"  
I nodded.  
"Then they'll pull out the platitudes. Some of them want to sell you a dream. City of opportunity, they'll call it. Give you some fresh off the boat, rags to riches American horseshit. Hollywood loves them. Other people, they'll tell you that Gotham's honest. You got the Bruce Waynes of the world, and the people huddling in abandoned factories for warmth, all in the same ZIP code, and that's how the world is. Gotham tells it like it is."  
"Which one are you, Joker?"  
"Oh, I think Gotham's honest. I just think most of them are missing the biggest truth bomb of them all. This city hates women."  
I raised an eyebrow, but she shushed me.  
"I know, I know, the Patriarchy is everywhere. You're right. But it's not everywhere like it's here. Other places, they at least make an attempt. They try to look like they're doing something. Here, though, the halls of power are a sausage fest full of old mustaches, and the John Does are mostly Jane Does. Here, they don't hide it. Gotham is honest."  
"So, Gotham hates women. Does it hate you?"  
She just laughed, her midnight green hair fluttering. "Oh, they hate me most of all. I don't have a sense of humor."  
I thought that was an odd statement from her back then, but I get it now. "How can you not have a sense of humor?"  
Her gaze pierced me to the bone. "World like this, how can you? I don't joke because it's funny. I joke because taking it all seriously would kill me."  
That session was over, but it wasn't our only session that time. Jay always escaped Arkham fairly quickly, but that time she didn't escape for months. The security people patted themselves on the back, the GCPD figured they were somehow responsible, and the Batman probably thought he was all that, too. It's sort of his thing. I had a different theory, though. I'm fairly certain she stayed for me.

 

* * *

 

After that session, I talked with some of the other psychiatrists. She still hadn't actually told me the scars story, and so I asked around about the scars. In every other case, Jay had given them a quick, emotionally laden anecdote, then immediately changed the subject. She'd never put it off behind explanations or opinions before. I was curious to hear what she had to say, especially given the somewhat higher chance that it would be the truth. Our next session wouldn't be for a few days, though. In the meantime, I had to deal with drama of my own. Being closeted at Arkham while on hormones was an interesting experience. Luckily, the uniform was a lab coat and a badge; there wasn't any changing in locker rooms to deal with. Still, there would always be uncomfortable incidents where I was afraid someone would figure me out. A coworker would accidentally bump into my small but noticable chest, or I'd get a snarky comment on the hair I was growing out. And God forbid I run into anyone from work if I was going out for a drink. For a group of people who were supposed to be doctors, they certainly didn't have much compassion between them. The time went somewhat quickly, though, and soon I found myself in the room again.

She smiled like she always did when I came in, but this time her teeth had been dyed into a rainbow. "Happy Pride, Doctor Q!" she said, quickly beginning a hearty cackle. I realized that Jay was right; it was June now. Pride isn't exactly very well celebrated in Gotham. All those bright colors and all the happiness would break up the Gotham gloom, so most of us queers would celebrate across the bay in Metropolis. It was safer there anyway. That, of course, wasn't my thought at the time. In that moment my brain went from _She knows_ to _How does she know_ before settling on _She doesn't know, she's just gay herself._ "Are you part of the LGBT+ community, Jay?" I asked.  
At this she cackled more. "Jay, huh doc? That what you're calling me these days?"  
That nickname had so far stayed inside my head, but my bout of paranoia had distracted me from keeping up my filter. "Well, 'Joker' is a title, not a name. And so far, you haven't given anyone your name."  
"You of all people should understand the idea of leaving a name behind you, Doctor Q," she said with a tone of weariness in her voice.  
_Me of all people?_ I'd thought at the time. _She definitely knows. This is bad._ Of course, I was supposed to maintain my professionalism, but in this particular case I simply glared at the Joker and said, "What makes you say that?"  
Her eyebrows drooped closer to those dark green eyes. "Woah, doc, I didn't mean to make you angry. Is it supposed to be a secret?"  
"Is what supposed to be a secret?" I managed to choke out, before my throat sealed for good from anxiety.  
The Joker sat across from me giggling for a solid minute, but her eyes weren't happy. Somehow I could tell it wasn't cheerful laughter this time. "I'm sorry, Doctor Q. I'm insane, not stupid. Kinda figured you knew how obvious it was that you're a woman," she said quietly after the laughter subsided.  
Obvious? I'd been starting to have a panic attack about it, because if it was obvious I was fucked, when I heard singing. Was the Joker of all people singing to me? Trying to calm me down and bring me back? The answer to both of those questions was clearly yes, as was the answer to a third question I didn't even want to think about. Was she singing _Nickelback?_

Nickelback's "Lullaby" worked, and I found my strength to sit back up and stop crying. I asked her, "Is it really that obvious?"  
"Probably not to most people, but I'm not most people, Doctor Q."  
Recognizing this as an opportunity, I went right back to therapist mode. "How so?"  
"Well, I'm about as straight as a circle, for starters." As she said that, her smile came back, a genuine smile this time instead of the rictus grin she usually wore. "Plus, I tend to pay attention to people I like. I've been visiting this place for a couple years now, and in that time you've grown out your hair, you smell different now, and there's music in your voice where there wasn't before."  
"And you think this is obvious, but not to most people?"  
"Men tend to not notice things like that, and most of the staff here are quintessential men."  
I felt it was time to end that session. As I got up and left, though, the Joker said softly, "You know, I liked it when you called me Jay."


End file.
